This is an Incredible story! Please read through to the end

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from the University of Toronto .

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.

He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.

As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife,after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.

The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Toronto Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.

The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.

He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legsand slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.

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Wondering WHY?? Its shocking!!! Read the enitire post…

Irish Jokes

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrived at an Irish border checkpoint.

Paddy the officer stops them and tells them: ‘It is illegal to put 5 people
in a Quattro, Quattro means four’

‘Quattro is just the name of the automobile,’ the Englishman retorts
disbelievingly. ‘Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry five
persons.”

You cannot pull that one on me,’ replies Paddy ‘Quattro means four. You
have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law.

‘The Englishmen replies angrily, ‘You idiot ! Call your supervisor over I
want to speak to someone with more
intelligence!’

‘Sorry,’ responds Paddy, ‘Murphy is busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.’

******************************************
Following a night out with a few friends, a man brought them back to show
off his new flat.

After the grand tour, the visitors were rather perplexed by the large gong
taking pride of place in the lounge.

‘What’s that big brass gong for?’ one of the guests asked

‘Why, that’s my Speaking Clock’ the man replied.

‘How does it work?’

‘I’ll show you’, the man said, giving the gong an ear-shattering blow with
an unpadded hammer.

Suddenly, a voice from the other side of the wall screamed, ‘For,
*****sake,
you *****, it’s twenty to two in the ****ing morning!!’

***********************************************************

A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and is going to
get married.

He says, ‘Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 2 other female friends
in addition to my fiancé, and you try and guess which one I’m going to
marry’.

The next day, he brings 3 beautiful women into the house and sits them down
on the couch and they chat for a while.

He then says, ‘Okay, Ma. Guess which one I’m going to marry.’

She immediately replies, ‘The red-head in the middle.’

‘That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right, how did you know?’

‘I don’t like her.’

***********************************************************
Mick was in court for a double murder and the judge said, ‘You are charged
with beating your wife to death with a spanner.’

A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, ‘You b*stard!’

The judge continued, ‘You are also charged with beating your daughter to
death with a spanner.’

Again, the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, ‘You ****ing **
*stard!!!’

The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the courtroom, and
said, ‘Paddy, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime,
but I will not have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge
you with contempt! Now what is the problem?’

Paddy, at the back of the court stood up and responded, ‘For fifteen years
I lived next door to that b*stard. And every time I asked to borrow a
*****ing spanner, he said he didn’t have one!’

***********************************************************

A man walks into a bar and asks for a beer. After drinking it, he looks in
his shirt pocket and asks for another beer.

After drinking that one, he looks in his shirt pocket again and asks for
another beer.

This happens about another seven times before the bartender asks him, ‘Why
do you keep looking in your pocket?’

The man replies, ‘I have a picture of my wife in there. When she looks good
enough, I’ll go home.’

Read this… cool one

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shopwindow.For a second everything went quiet in the cab, and then the driver said:

“Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You scared me!”.The passenger apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”

The driver replied,

“Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my 1stday as a cab driver – I’ve been driving a van carrying dead Bodies for the last 25 years.

The Ultimate Interview

The FBI is considering three men to be hired. They bring them in to speak with the interviewer separately. The first man comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him “Do you love your wife?” so he replies”Yes I do, sir.” “Do you love your country?” asks the interviewer. “Yes I do, sir.”, interviewer continues, “What do you love more, your wife or your country?” he replies “My country, sir.” The interviewer looks at the man, “Okay. We brought in your wife. Take this gun and go into the next room and kill her.”

The man goes into the room, and all is silent for about 5 minutes. He comes back, with his tie loosened and he is all sweaty. He puts down the gun and leaves. The second guy comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him the same questions, and the responses are the same. The interviewer gives him a gun, and tells him to go kill his wife. The guy puts the gun down and says “I can’t do it…”

The third guy comes in, the same thing happens. The interviewer gives him a gun, and tells him to go kill his wife. The guy goes into the room, and BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! This is followed by a bunch of crashing sounds that end after a few minutes. The guy comes out of the room with his tie loosened, and puts the gun on the table. The interviewer looks at him and says “What happened?!?!”, to which the guy replies, “The gun you gave me was filled with blanks so I had to beat her to death with the chair!”

Cards… Good 1!

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: “Nescafe”!

Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.

It said: “Good till the last drop”.

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: “Rothmans”

Mom now knew to go straight to her husband’s cigarettes, and she read from the pack: “Extra Long. King Size”

She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.

Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words “South African Airways”

Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.

The ad said: “Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways.”

Mom fainted !!!!

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I know d answer!!

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people.

Bush asks how she knows if they’re intelligent.

“I do so by asking them the right questions,” says the Queen. “Allow me to demonstrate.”

Bush watches as the Queen phones Tony Blair and says, “Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?”

Tony Blair responds, “It’s me, ma’am.”

“Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir,” says the Queen. She hangs up and says, “Did you get that, Mr. Bush?”

Bush nods: “Yes ma’am. Thanks a lot. I’ll definitely be using that!”

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he’d better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. Bush summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, “Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me.”

“Why, of course, sir. What’s on your mind?”

Bush poses the question: “Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, “Can I think about it and get back to you?”

Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

“Now look here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Powell answers immediately, “It’s me, of course.”

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, “I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It’s Colin Powell!”

And Bush replies in disgust, “Wrong, you fool, it’s Tony Blair!”

Funniest Joke

Once Santa & Banta were travelling along with their friends Monty & Jaggi. On a road surrounded by forests on both sides, their car was attacked by robbers. Santa & his friends were pulled out of the car. The robbers blasted the car and took Santa, Banta and their friends in the middle of the forest where their boss was residing.

Now, this boss was fond of jokes. So, he put the condition that whoever tells a joke that makes every single person laugh should be left unharmed and alive, but if one single person doesn’t laugh then the joke-teller would be shot to death.

Banta started telling the funniest joke he had ever heard, “One day………” and when he was finished, everybody were falling with laughter except Santa. So according to the vow, the boss shot poor Banta.

Now, it was the turn of Monty. He also told the best joke he had ever heard. Again everybody laughed including the boss & his robbers, but still Santa was quite as a statue. So the boss shot him.

Then came Jaggi. As he opened his mouth to tell the joke, Santa suddenly burst into laughter. Everyone was puzzled. Santa was laughing madly.

The boss asked him, “Why the hell are you laughing without hearing the joke?”

Santa said laughing and giggling, “Oh! How funny Banta’s joke was!”