Office exercises to avoid sleep !!!

To avoid sleep…

Follow like this to ease your neck & shoulder painATT00001

Wa..wa.. aaa
ATT00002

Move to the right and then to the left
ATT00003

After that, move to the left and then to the right
ATT00004

Just follow. Don’t force yourself to do 360 degrees, 180 degreeswill do. Bend down a bit like you gonna faint. Repeat a few times till you’re bored
ATT00005

Grab anything on your desk and smash your head hard. If you are still sleepy smash harder
ATT00006

After that move your feet and swing your body a bit like this. Do it like
it’s nobody’s business and remember to smile
ATT00007

Move your feet and body just a bit like this…. Do it like there’s no problem at all…
ATT00008

And now more aggressive! Don’t bother about what others say
ATT00009

Let go of all your stress….
ATT00010

If your boss ask what you are doing, move your head slowly like this and tell them you’re dying in the office
ATT00011

When your boss walks off, get your colleague to join you and move your body like this. The more the merrier…
ATT00012

Finally, dance like a cat
ATT00013

If you are still sleepy despite all these, just grab your small pillow  and sleep under your desk (at your own risk) 🙂

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An excuse for a Sick Leave

To all my friends who needs an excuse for a Sick Leave:

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted “CRAZY” then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was “CRAZY” and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, “What are you doing?”
I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.”
I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her, “And where do you think you’re going?”

(You’re gonna love this…..)

She said, “I’m going home too, I can’t work in the dark”

New Professional Management FUNDAS

Some of the modern day meanings of replies you might get from your management. Nice One ! Enjoy 🙂

1.”We will do it” means “You will do it”

2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”

3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the
same”

4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done
“At least not tomorrow!”

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I
have already decided, I will tell you what to do”

6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”

7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will
talk later”

8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”

9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension
of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver
on time.”

10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually
fought”

11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help
you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”

12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me
earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”

13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you
where your fault is”

14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just
ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…”

15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”

16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything
about it”

17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble”

Superb Quotes !!

Long back,
a person who sacrificed his sleep,
forgot his family,
forgot his food,
fogot laughter were called
“Saints”

But now they are called..

IT professionals

—————————————————————————-
An interesting line written at the back of a Biker’s T Shirt:

If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off

—————————————————————————-
Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..

Love is always present..

Its just that,
One loves too much,

and

The other loves too many,

—————————————————————————-
Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!

BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the company..!

—————————————————————————-

Philosophy of life
At the begining of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,

Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!

—————————————————————————-
What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new

and

Just few hours left for your exams..!

—————————————————————————-
Jus4Fun
Someone has rightly said, “A fool can ask More questions that a wise man cannot answer

No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!

—————————————————————————-
Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?

Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says “To the only boy I ever loved.!

Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!

—————————————————————————-
After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: ” WE do have an opening for you..!

Applicant: What is it?

Interviewer: Its called the “door..!” 🙂

—————————————————————————-
A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..

Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee…

….. Leave them to us

Funny Resignation Letters Part 3

Director of Corruptive Affairs

The Office of Non-Compliance

Re: Resignation Letter

Dear Director,

As per our legal contract, it is in my duty to present to you a letter of resignation.

While working for the Office of Non-Compliance Association, I realized being punctual, never absent, well groomed, easy going, and just being a proficient employee holds no importance to you. I know this because in my first month, it was very evident when you called me in your office and recommend I wear “makeup” because I’m a woman. Well anyway, everyone in the office knows you secretly wear “makeup” among other things yourself. I hope for your sake your equally pretentious superficial wife doesn’t find out.

Also, I can honestly say I’m ecstatic about leaving this company. Watching you bounce and parade around the office pretending to know what you were doing was more nauseating than my stomach could bear. I have never worked anywhere before that made me check my mail everyday hoping for jury duty, or waking up every morning in hopes of finding pink eye or chicken pox in the mirror. Furthermore, we all know this company will be sold to new CEO’s this year. You will in fact be out of a job very shortly. Not only because of your political ties, but mainly because of your inadequacy and idiotic incompetence. Especially when you go in front of the monthly committee to answer simple questions you don’t seem to have the intellectual capacity to comprehend much less respond with.

I really pity you as a Director. You should have been paying more attention to your work statistics, weekly reports and your unethical staff. Instead you were busy instigating corruption in your office, as well as focusing on why I don’t want to wear makeup. Now, l really don’t expect you to give me a perverse recommendation when my future job inquiries call you. Also, don’t even make attempts on framing me up on any of your illegal on goings in the office out of spite. Just in case, I will have my attorney call you periodically to test you on your already failed integrity. Keep in mind it’s illegal if you do any of the above or threaten bodily harm. If you slip up, I can press charges or civilly sue you. However, being you won’t have any financial assets by then, due to that investigation that’s being held against you. You may resort to using that same “make-up” theory while you’re sitting in prison.

Sincerely,

The best worker you would have ever had.

Funny Resignation Letters Part 2

Here is teh second dose!! 😉

 

Ralph N. Barbara

Office Coercion Administrator IV

The Office of Non-Compliance

 

Re:  Resignation Letter

 

 

Dear Ralph N. Barbara,

 

I am sure you are wondering why I’m addressing this resignation  letter to you, being you are not management nor my supervisor. Truth be told, I am extremely confident this letter will get expedited to management through your part. You have done such an astounding job on reporting everything else to them in the past, this too will be automatic.

 

I would like to think you are also in shock and disturbed that I’m leaving this company. No more will there be a push over like me to complete your work assignments when you’re on 3 hour lunches, brown nosing, surfing the internet and maliciously stirring up chaos among everyone in the office. Also, when  you come in late to work with your self inflicted personal problems, I will no longer be here for you to verbally abuse. You will have to find other means to feel superior about your worthless being. You will also have to find someone else to publicly humiliate, spread vicious rumors on,  elbow in the hallway, make up names for, lie on, and steal credit from on a daily basis.

 

I feel extremely guilty leaving you holding the bag, especially after I’ve written numerous unreciprocated letters to management about your heinous office deeds. So now, I would like to thank you for encouraging me on making this desperate life altering decision. I’m now leaving my 65k annual job with this company to becoming a parking lot attendant where you can’t find me. Thanks to you I have gained a tremendous array of newly found skills that I can now claim under my professional belt. For example, my new expertise consist of cooping with my recently diagnosed depression disorder, stomach ulcers, nightmares, blood curling migraines and my diminished relationship with family and friends.

 

But remember Ralph N. Barbara, things might not be so bad now that I’m gone. The next individual you appoint to take my place might be quite proficient with eliminating you of your life’s misery for all eternity.  I really wish this for you, Ralph N. Barbara.

 

Sincerely,

 

Your office victim…

Funny Resignation Letters Part 1

Looking at the hits at the Resignation Letters Section, starting this post, I am starting a special series on some funny farewell and resignation letters that i found on the net.  Enjoy !! 🙂

Ms. C. Crooke

Staff Incompetence Manager

The Office of Non-Compliance

 

Re:  Resignation Letter

 

 

Dear Ms. Crooke,

 

Let me first start by saying, I have always admired how your professional demeanor in the office ironically correlates with your surname.  Being said, I would have given you 2 weeks resignation notice.  However,  I have watched you over the years immediately terminate employees after they give you their dutiful 2 weeks resignation notice. Therefore, it gives me great pleasure to present this resignation letter to you effective immediately.

 

You have always said I should be more proactive and take more initiative, so I’m sure you won’t mind me taking this initiative and beating you to the punch. How I see it, I’m saving you the trouble of thinking up of some devious accusation to terminate my employment and tarnishing my good name in this unethical  corporate world.  Now, I don’t expect you to care about my well being because you don’t even care about your own children or your husband. That’s why you spend most of  your time in your office after hours pretending to do the company’s work.

 

By the way, I just know after you read the first paragraph, your little evil micro-managing calculating brain had already thought up of a devious plan to spite me with.  Keep in mind, I don’t need you at this point for a letter of recommendation.  Your secretary, who is seeing your husband behind your back has already taken care of that for me.  You should have paid more attention to all the documents your secretary made you sign in the past week. Your husband filed for divorce weeks ago unknown to you and your secretary made you sign your divorce papers. She also made you sign over all your rights to your house, children, money and other assets. Well, I bid you farewell and I hope you found this letter as amusing as everyone else in the office did.

 

 

Sincerely,

…On to a better tomorrow

 

Cc: The entire office staff.