FAQ – India

India holds a certain sense of mystery for the world outside its borders. Read on to find how curious foreigners are about India and its ways or rather read on to find out how dumb and ignorant they are about our beautiful country.

This was taken from a tourism blog where people could post queries if they were planning on making a trip to India.

The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who demonstrate tolerance and excellent sense of humor.

Q:   Does it ever get windy in India ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A:   We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q :  Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A:   Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q:   I want to walk from Delhi to Goa – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden )
A:   Sure, it’s only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q:   Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden)
A:   So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q:   Are there any ATMs India ? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi , Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore?(UK)
A:   What did your last slave die of?

Q:   Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India ? (USA )
A:   A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. …… Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa . Come naked.

Q:   Which direction is North in India ? ( USA )
A:   Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q:   Can I bring cutlery into India ? ( UK )
A:   Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q:   Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? ( France )
A:   Indiana is a state in the Unites States of…oh forget it.  Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tues day night in Goa , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q:   Can I wear high heels in India ? ( UK )
A:   You’re a British politician, right?

Q:   Are there supermarkets in Bangalore , and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A:   No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q:   Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A:   Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q:   Do you have perfume in India ? ( France )
A:   No, WE don’t stink in India.

Q:   I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India ? (USA)
A:   Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q:   Do you celebrate Christmas in India ? (France)
A:   Only at Christmas.

Q:   Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A:   Yes, but you will have to learn it first

Q:   Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy)
A:   As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime day and night.

Q:   Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A:   No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)

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Office exercises to avoid sleep !!!

To avoid sleep…

Follow like this to ease your neck & shoulder painATT00001

Wa..wa.. aaa
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Move to the right and then to the left
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After that, move to the left and then to the right
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Just follow. Don’t force yourself to do 360 degrees, 180 degreeswill do. Bend down a bit like you gonna faint. Repeat a few times till you’re bored
ATT00005

Grab anything on your desk and smash your head hard. If you are still sleepy smash harder
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After that move your feet and swing your body a bit like this. Do it like
it’s nobody’s business and remember to smile
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Move your feet and body just a bit like this…. Do it like there’s no problem at all…
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And now more aggressive! Don’t bother about what others say
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Let go of all your stress….
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If your boss ask what you are doing, move your head slowly like this and tell them you’re dying in the office
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When your boss walks off, get your colleague to join you and move your body like this. The more the merrier…
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Finally, dance like a cat
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If you are still sleepy despite all these, just grab your small pillow  and sleep under your desk (at your own risk) 🙂