Nice to laugh sometimes!!!

THIS IS THE MAIL OF THE DAY ….SIT BACK AND ENJOY ……..

Plumber with a sense of humor! Gotta love this guy!!

Plumber with a sense of humor! Gotta love this guy!!

BAD SPELLING

BAD SPELLING

BAD JUDGMENT

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Philosophy

History does have its lessons

Next time someone starts to spread gossip, think of this:

In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.

One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”

Wait a moment,” Socrates replied. “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test.It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”

“Triple filter?”

“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my student let’s take a m! oment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”

“No,” the man said, “actually I just heard about it and…”

“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?”

“No, on the contrary…”

“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. “You may still pass the test though,because there is a third filter – the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?”

“No, not really…”

“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful,! why tell it to me at all?”

The man was defeated and ashamed.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why he never found out that Plato (his student) was having an affair with his wife.

Moral: It’s good to gossip sometimes!!!


Dear Salary . . .

The most romantic Hollywood lines of all times…..

FAQ – India

India holds a certain sense of mystery for the world outside its borders. Read on to find how curious foreigners are about India and its ways or rather read on to find out how dumb and ignorant they are about our beautiful country.

This was taken from a tourism blog where people could post queries if they were planning on making a trip to India.

The answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who demonstrate tolerance and excellent sense of humor.

Q:   Does it ever get windy in India ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).
A:   We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q :  Will I be able to see elephants in the street? ( USA )
A:   Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q:   I want to walk from Delhi to Goa – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden )
A:   Sure, it’s only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q:   Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden)
A:   So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q:   Are there any ATMs India ? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi , Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore?(UK)
A:   What did your last slave die of?

Q:   Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India ? (USA )
A:   A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe . In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. …… Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa . Come naked.

Q:   Which direction is North in India ? ( USA )
A:   Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q:   Can I bring cutlery into India ? ( UK )
A:   Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q:   Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? ( France )
A:   Indiana is a state in the Unites States of…oh forget it.  Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tues day night in Goa , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q:   Can I wear high heels in India ? ( UK )
A:   You’re a British politician, right?

Q:   Are there supermarkets in Bangalore , and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )
A:   No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q:   Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )
A:   Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q:   Do you have perfume in India ? ( France )
A:   No, WE don’t stink in India.

Q:   I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India ? (USA)
A:   Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q:   Do you celebrate Christmas in India ? (France)
A:   Only at Christmas.

Q:   Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A:   Yes, but you will have to learn it first

Q:   Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy)
A:   As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime day and night.

Q:   Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A:   No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)

Oxymorons….;)

An oxymoron is usually defined as “A phrase in which two words having  contradictory meanings are brought together“…

  1. Clearly misunderstood
  2. Exact Estimate
  3. Small Crowd
  4. Act Naturally
  5. Found Missing
  6. Fully Empty
  7. Pretty ugly
  8. Seriously funny
  9. Only choice
  10. Original copies

And…….

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11) Happily Married

Heartbreaks

Heartbreaks Happens to all those who have this incessant urge to be loved, I guess..

The first time it’s always pure..you want to love with all ur heart.. and then end up wondering, why you gave your heart to this person…

You keep falling in love again and again… most of the times, not knowing whether we are falling in love or just making a compromise to satisfy the need to be loved..

After many bad experiences.. the decision/disillusion..the feeling that we are not able to/incapable to love someone with all our heart..

Doubts…

Feeling worthless..when you KNOW you are a good person..and yet wonder.. “Why does this happen to me..Isn’t there a single person in this world who can identify with me??”…

But I guess .. we will know when that person comes..not because he/she is perfect/..but because we will be happy to make those sacrifices without feeling bad..

There is this story..

A teacher asked a student to go to the paddy field and pick the biggest paddy he comes across..only rule..you can never turn back!!!

The student found one as soon as he entered..but he left it there cos he thought he could find a bigger one..he kept throwing away the paddy..after he reached half way he realized that the paddies were getting smaller in size.. but he couldn’t go back..so he picked one which was much smaller in size than the one he had picked in the beginning..

When the student went back to the teacher, the teacher said..

This is love.. we always keep looking for better ones, only to realize that the ones we let go were better .. (maynot be always true..but the point here is..we keep looking for that elusive perfect partner who understands us totally)..

Then the teacher asked the student to go to the paddy field again.. and asked him to pick the biggest paddy..same rule..no turning back..

The student encountered a decent sized paddy and picked it..
When the student returned the teacher said..this is marriage..

You know there might be bigger and better ones there..but you settle for the one you have!..