“TEAM WORK” at its best ;)

This is called Team Work!!!

Team Work

Team Work at its Best

Will this resume be shortlisted ??

OUR NEW SECRETARY’S RESUME

Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me belly well.

I’m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. . . hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,
Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short – below is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb.

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Software Development Life Cycle – Emotions

Soft Development Life Cycle Parody

Soft Development Life Cycle Parody

Be careful before asking leave from ur boss… time has changed..

Office exercises to avoid sleep !!!

To avoid sleep…

Follow like this to ease your neck & shoulder painATT00001

Wa..wa.. aaa
ATT00002

Move to the right and then to the left
ATT00003

After that, move to the left and then to the right
ATT00004

Just follow. Don’t force yourself to do 360 degrees, 180 degreeswill do. Bend down a bit like you gonna faint. Repeat a few times till you’re bored
ATT00005

Grab anything on your desk and smash your head hard. If you are still sleepy smash harder
ATT00006

After that move your feet and swing your body a bit like this. Do it like
it’s nobody’s business and remember to smile
ATT00007

Move your feet and body just a bit like this…. Do it like there’s no problem at all…
ATT00008

And now more aggressive! Don’t bother about what others say
ATT00009

Let go of all your stress….
ATT00010

If your boss ask what you are doing, move your head slowly like this and tell them you’re dying in the office
ATT00011

When your boss walks off, get your colleague to join you and move your body like this. The more the merrier…
ATT00012

Finally, dance like a cat
ATT00013

If you are still sleepy despite all these, just grab your small pillow  and sleep under your desk (at your own risk) 🙂

An excuse for a Sick Leave

To all my friends who needs an excuse for a Sick Leave:

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted “CRAZY” then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was “CRAZY” and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, “What are you doing?”
I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.”
I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her, “And where do you think you’re going?”

(You’re gonna love this…..)

She said, “I’m going home too, I can’t work in the dark”

New Professional Management FUNDAS

Some of the modern day meanings of replies you might get from your management. Nice One ! Enjoy 🙂

1.”We will do it” means “You will do it”

2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”

3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the
same”

4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done
“At least not tomorrow!”

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I
have already decided, I will tell you what to do”

6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”

7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will
talk later”

8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”

9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension
of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver
on time.”

10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually
fought”

11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help
you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”

12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me
earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”

13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you
where your fault is”

14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just
ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…”

15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”

16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything
about it”

17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble”