“TEAM WORK” at its best ;)

This is called Team Work!!!

Team Work

Team Work at its Best

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Will this resume be shortlisted ??

OUR NEW SECRETARY’S RESUME

Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me belly well.

I’m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. . . hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,
Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short – below is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb.

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Software Development Life Cycle – Emotions

Soft Development Life Cycle Parody

Soft Development Life Cycle Parody

Be careful before asking leave from ur boss… time has changed..

Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life…

Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life…

  • How it changed from a maverick collage life to strict professional  life……
  • How tiny pocket money changed to huge monthly paychecks, but then why it gives less happiness…..
  • How a few local denim jeans changed to new branded wardrobe, but then why there are less people to use them
  • How a single plate of samosa changed to a full Pizza or burger, but then why there is less hunger…..

Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life… How it changed…..

  • How a bike always in reserve changed to bike / car always on, but then why there are less places to go on……
  • How a small coffee shop changed to cafe coffee day,  but then why it feels like the shop is far away…..
  • How a limited prepaid card changed to postpaid package, but then why there are less calls & more messages……

Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life… How it changed…..

  • How a general class journey changed to Flight journey, but then why there are less vacations for enjoyment….
  • How a old assembled desktop changed to new branded laptop, but then why there is less time to put it on……….
  • How a small bunch of friends changed to office mates, but then why after 6’o Clock it always feel like  getting late….

Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life… How it changed….. 😦

Important Lessons In Life.. Must Read…..

Lesson 1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’ After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’ ‘It was Bob the next door neighbour,’ she replies. ‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’ The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’ Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

Moral of the story

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’ ‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’ Puff! She’s gone. ‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’ Puff! He’s gone. ‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch.’

Moral of the story

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’ The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’ So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull. ‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’ ‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’ The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

Man Behind Control Alt Delete

Man Behind Control Alt Delete

Man Behind Control Alt Delete