“TEAM WORK” at its best ;)

This is called Team Work!!!

Team Work

Team Work at its Best

Will this resume be shortlisted ??

OUR NEW SECRETARY’S RESUME

Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me belly well.

I’m lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited.

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser. . . hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.

Sinseerly,
Peggy May Starlings

PS : Because my resimay is a bit short – below is a pickture of me taken at my last jobb.

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Be careful before asking leave from ur boss… time has changed..

Married Too Long…

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting over lunch and the conversation turns to their relationships. They decided that night to surprise their men.. All three would wear a black leather bra and thong, stiletto heels, and a mask over their eyes.

A few days later they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, “You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.” Then we made love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather outfit, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but we had wild sex for hours.

The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother’s house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. He walked in the door, looked at me and said, “What’s for dinner, Batman?

An excuse for a Sick Leave

To all my friends who needs an excuse for a Sick Leave:

I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted “CRAZY” then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was “CRAZY” and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, “What are you doing?”
I told him I was a light bulb.

He said, “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.”
I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her, “And where do you think you’re going?”

(You’re gonna love this…..)

She said, “I’m going home too, I can’t work in the dark”

One line Humours

  • Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
  • Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
  • Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
  • I believe we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.
  • A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.
  • Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
  • Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
  • You can’t buy love, but you pay heavily for it.
  • Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
  • Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
  • Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.
  • My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
  • Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
  • Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
  • A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
  • You’re getting old when you enjoy remembering things more than doing them.
  • It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
  • Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.
  • Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
  • Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something
  • They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak!
  • Man: Is there any way for long life?
    Dr: Get married.
    Man: Will it help?
    Dr: No, but then the thought of long life will never come.
  • Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
  • Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
    Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
  • It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
  • There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it.
  • There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it!

Software Scenario

Have a look at the modern day Software Company Scenario. Enjoy !! 🙂

software development scenario