Here is teh second dose!! 😉
Ralph N. Barbara
Office Coercion Administrator IV
The Office of Non-Compliance
Re: Resignation Letter
Dear Ralph N. Barbara,
I am sure you are wondering why I’m addressing this resignation letter to you, being you are not management nor my supervisor. Truth be told, I am extremely confident this letter will get expedited to management through your part. You have done such an astounding job on reporting everything else to them in the past, this too will be automatic.
I would like to think you are also in shock and disturbed that I’m leaving this company. No more will there be a push over like me to complete your work assignments when you’re on 3 hour lunches, brown nosing, surfing the internet and maliciously stirring up chaos among everyone in the office. Also, when you come in late to work with your self inflicted personal problems, I will no longer be here for you to verbally abuse. You will have to find other means to feel superior about your worthless being. You will also have to find someone else to publicly humiliate, spread vicious rumors on, elbow in the hallway, make up names for, lie on, and steal credit from on a daily basis.
I feel extremely guilty leaving you holding the bag, especially after I’ve written numerous unreciprocated letters to management about your heinous office deeds. So now, I would like to thank you for encouraging me on making this desperate life altering decision. I’m now leaving my 65k annual job with this company to becoming a parking lot attendant where you can’t find me. Thanks to you I have gained a tremendous array of newly found skills that I can now claim under my professional belt. For example, my new expertise consist of cooping with my recently diagnosed depression disorder, stomach ulcers, nightmares, blood curling migraines and my diminished relationship with family and friends.
But remember Ralph N. Barbara, things might not be so bad now that I’m gone. The next individual you appoint to take my place might be quite proficient with eliminating you of your life’s misery for all eternity. I really wish this for you, Ralph N. Barbara.
Your office victim…