Funeeeeee


Father passing by his teenage daughter s bedroom was astonished to see
thebed was nicely made and everything was neat and tidy. Then he saw an
envelope propped up prominently on the centre of the pillow. It was
addressed “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and
read the letter with trembling hands:-

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I m writing you, but I m
leaving home.I had to elope with my new boyfriend Randy because I
wanted to
avoid a scene with Mom and you. I ve been finding real passion with
Randy and he
is so nice to me. I know when you meet him you ll like him too – even
with all his piercing, tattoos, and motorcycle clothes. But it s not
only the passion Dad, I m pregnant and Randy said that he wants me to
have
the kid and that we can be very happy together. Even though Randy is
much older than me (anyway,42 isn tso old these days is it?),and has no
money, really these things shouldn t stand in the way of our
relationship,don t you agree? Randy has a great CD collection; he
already owns a
trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
It s true he has other girlfriends as well but I know he ll be faithful
to me in his own way. He wants to have many more children with me and
that s now one of my dreams too. Randy taught me that marijuana doesn t
really hurt anyone and he ll be growing it for us and we ll trade it
with our friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the
meantime, we ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Randy
can get
better; he sure deserves it!!
Don t worry Dad, I m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I m sure we ll be back to visit so you can get to know
your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter,

At the bottom of the page were the letters “PTO”. Hands still
trembling, her father turned the sheet, and read:
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I m over at the neighbour s house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
my report card that s in my desk centre drawer. Please sign it and call
when it is safe for me to come home. I love you!!!

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