Four friends, have a good laugh

Four friends, who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, “My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel.

He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.”

The second guy said, “Darn, that’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.”

The third man said: “Well, that’s terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.”

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: “What are all the congratulations for?” One of the three said: “We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ….What about your son?”

The fourth man replied: “My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.”

The three friends said: “What a shame…what a disappointment.”

The fourth man replied: “No, I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends.  !!!!!!!

Are you GAY ?? / “Am I Gay?” Self Examination For Men

Here is an different type of Cain Letter. Just look at the 8th point!!

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing
the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay — it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And
just think about how you call a dog… “Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!” Now think about how you call a cat…”Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!” Jeeezus, you’re fit to be
framed, you’re so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-B-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and your in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man’s world is his bathroom; he goes wherever he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a “Decaf Soy Latte”. If you’ve put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you’ve had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn’t have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a “fressier” is you’re gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are a fag.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you’re dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut off the jerk. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a burger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker!! Send this out to all the pretty women out there so that they know how to tell if a guy is gay.

Old Rooster – Don’t mess with the OLD FARTS

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his
chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,'
'OK old fart, time for you to retire. The old rooster replies, 'Come
on,
surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens? Look what it has done to
me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'

The young rooster says, 'Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking
over.'

The old rooster says, 'I tell you what, young stud. I will race you
around
the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire
chicken coop.' The young rooster laughs.

'You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I
will
give you a head start.'

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young
rooster
takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse
and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only about 5 feet behind
the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in
his
usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by.

The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can. The Farmer
grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The
farmer sadly shakes his head and says, 'Dammit.....third gay rooster I
bought this month.'

Moral of this story? 

Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery always
overcome youth and arrogance!