 | vipeesh on Think!!! |
 | Lorenzo Van Matterho… on Sydney radio – This is a… |
 | syed ahmed on A Girl Can Change Ur GOAL… |
 | Dharma on This is expected only from Ind… |
 | hbic on Funny Pictures [Slide Sha… |
7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai. So both groups gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority.
SCENE – 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI):
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..
Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come……
When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet so when TC knocks, one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes Away….
NOW on return Journey All of them don’t get a direct Train to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE
SCENE – 2 (MUMBAI – LONAVALA):
Doctors decided, “this time we will prove that we too are equal”….All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket Engineers don’t buy any ticket at all!!!!!..
TC arrives….
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE.
One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the
ticket and comes in Engg. Bathroom… TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined.
SCENE - 3 ( LONAVALA):
SO now both the group r on LONAVALA station. Doctors planning their move for last chance, they board the local to Pune.
This time doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick.
ALL Doctors take 1 tickets…Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time…
SO TC Comes.. All Engineers showed their tickets ………… ……. ….
Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train……. ….
Conclusion: Technically intelligent people are geniuses, don’t mess with Engineers. 
A TOURIST VISITED INDIA AND WENT BACK TO HIS COUNTRY, WHERE HE MET HIS INDIAN FRIEND WHO ASKED HIM : HOW DID YOU FIND MY COUNTRY?
THE AMERICAN SAID IT IS A GREAT COUNTRY WITH SOLID ANCIENT HISTORY AND IMMENSELY RICH WITH NATURAL RESOURCES.
THE INDIAN FRIEND THEN ASKED : HOW DID YOU FIND INDIANS …….??
INDIANS?? WHO INDIANS??
I DIDN’T FIND OR MEET A SINGLE INDIAN THERE IN INDIA …….!
WHAT NONSENSE?? WHO ELSE CAN YOU MEET IN INDIA THEN……??
THE AMERICAN SAID:
IN KASHMIR I MET A KASHMIRI–
IN PUNJAB A PUNJABI—–
IN BIHAR, MAHARASTRA, BENGAL , TAMILNADU
I MET A BIHARI, MARATHI, BENGALI, TAMILIAN………
THEN I MET
A HINDU, A MUSLIM, A CHRISTIAN, A JAIN, A BUDDHIST AND MANY MANY MANY MORE
BUT NOT A SINGLE INDIAN DID I MEET!!
THINK HOW SERIOUS THIS JOKE IS…………….
THE DAY WOULD NOT BE FAR OFF WHEN INDEED WE WOULD BECOME A COLLECTION OF NATION STATES AS SOME REGIONAL ANTI-NATIONALS WANT…
WE SHOULD FIGHT BACK TO ENSURE INDIA ALWAYS REMAINS UNITED-
ALWAYS SAY WE ARE INDIANS FIRST AND FOREMOST……..
EVERYTHING ELSE IS SECONDARY, RELIGION, LANGUAGE, CASTE, CREED,
COMMUNITY, ETC., ETC.
JAI HIND
Wishing U All a Green Christmas
Never Mess with a Rabbit in Helmet - Cartoon
Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting over lunch and the conversation turns to their relationships. They decided that night to surprise their men.. All three would wear a black leather bra and thong, stiletto heels, and a mask over their eyes.
A few days later they meet up for lunch.
The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, “You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.” Then we made love all night long.
The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather outfit, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but we had wild sex for hours.
The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother’s house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. He walked in the door, looked at me and said, “What’s for dinner, Batman?“
A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.
However, he was delayed, so the Priest was asked to say a few words in the meanwhile. Not being prepared to speak then, he wondered for a minute and then decided to share his experience on the first day in the parish to highlight how one should not rush to conclusions.
‘I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’s wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his neighbour. I was appalled.
But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.’….
Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk: ‘I’ll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,’ said the politician. ‘In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.’
Moral : Never, Never, Never Be Late. 
To avoid sleep…
Follow like this to ease your neck & shoulder pain
Wa..wa.. aaa
Move to the right and then to the left
After that, move to the left and then to the right
Just follow. Don’t force yourself to do 360 degrees, 180 degreeswill do. Bend down a bit like you gonna faint. Repeat a few times till you’re bored
Grab anything on your desk and smash your head hard. If you are still sleepy smash harder
After that move your feet and swing your body a bit like this. Do it like
it’s nobody’s business and remember to smile
Move your feet and body just a bit like this…. Do it like there’s no problem at all…
And now more aggressive! Don’t bother about what others say
Let go of all your stress….
If your boss ask what you are doing, move your head slowly like this and tell them you’re dying in the office
When your boss walks off, get your colleague to join you and move your body like this. The more the merrier…
Finally, dance like a cat
If you are still sleepy despite all these, just grab your small pillow and sleep under your desk (at your own risk)
Millionaire Contestant Makes Worst Use Of Lifelines Ever
NEW YORK – Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.’
It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing ‘the absolute worst use of lifelines ever.’
After being introduced to the show’s host Meredith Vieira, Evans assured her that she was ready to play, whereupon she was posed with an extremely easy $100 question. The question was: ‘Which of the following is the largest?’
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?
Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she realized that this was a question to which she did not readily know the answer.
‘Hmm, oh boy, that’s a toughie,’ said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief and disgust. ‘I mean, I’m sure I’ve heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be.‘
Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50. Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure.
‘Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!‘ exclaimed Evans.. ‘Darn. I think I better phone a friend.‘
Using the second of her two lifelines on the first question, Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant.
‘Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I’m on TV!‘ said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. ‘Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest? B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.‘
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon. Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
‘Come on Betsy, are you sure?‘ said Evans. ‘How sure are you? Duh, that can’t be it.‘
To everyone’s astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend’s advice and pick ‘The Moon.‘
‘I just don’t know if I can trust Betsy. She’s not all that bright. So I think I’d like to ask the audience,‘ said Evans.
Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, ‘The Moon.’ Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.
‘Wow, seems like everybody is against what I’m thinking,’ said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. ‘But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut. So, let’s see. For which is larger, an elephant or the moon, I’m going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.‘
Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath, and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, ‘The Moon.‘
Caution…..they walk among us!
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This one is actually better! (No comments needed!)
Caution…..they walk among us!
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Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: ‘Free to good home. You want it, you take it.‘ For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too un-trusting of this deal.
It looked too good to be true, so he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.‘
The next day someone stole it!
***They walk amongst us!***
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*One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted….’Look at that dead bird!‘ Someone looked up at the sky and said…’where?‘
***They walk amongst us!***
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While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn’t want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, ‘Does the sun rise in the north?‘ When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, ‘Oh, I don’t keep up with that stuff‘
***They walk amongst us!***
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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but ‘didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving‘.
***They walk amongst us!***
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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it’s designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk.
***They walk amongst us!***
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I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, ‘Wouldn’t the chain rip out every time she turned her head?‘ I had to explain that a person’s nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned…
***They walk amongst us!***
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I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. ‘Now,‘ she asked me, ‘Has your plane arrived yet?‘….
(I work with professionals like this.)
***They walk amongst us!***
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While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. ‘Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
***Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!
They cannot miss their favorite T.V. Serial even if there is flood, storm, gale or earthquake!!!!
Look at the expression of worry on helpless Husband’s face near the door 
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from the University of Toronto .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.
The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it.
As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife,after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Toronto Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure.
He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legsand slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
.
.
.
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Wondering WHY?? Its shocking!!! Read the enitire post…
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he’d given her.
Then he married the one with the biggest tits. Men are like that, you know.
PS: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely norecollection of what to do with them.
If you don’t send this to OLD friends right away there will be fewer people laughing in the world.
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Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life…
Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life… How it changed…..
Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life… How it changed…..
Here i am sitting in my office @ night… Thinking hard about life… How it changed….. 
To all my friends who needs an excuse for a Sick Leave:
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted “CRAZY” then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was “CRAZY” and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked, “What are you doing?”
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.”
I jumped down and walked out of the office.
When my co-worker followed me, the Boss asked her, “And where do you think you’re going?”
(You’re gonna love this…..)
She said, “I’m going home too, I can’t work in the dark”
